


Not Falling Apart

by orphan_account



Series: Shassie High School AU [10]
Category: Psych
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:17:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2359268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Compromises are made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I actually kinda hate this part and I didn't want to post it but I did because I know you guys want it but seriously if you want to tell me any way at all to make this better I will love you forever

Shawn had once asked him, _"What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?"_

Gus, at the time, had gotten a headache and told Shawn to shut up. He felt like this was the situation he was in now.

His friend was miserable and when Shawn was miserable, Gus was miserable, even if Shawn was the cause of his own unhappiness.

"Shawn just isn't himself, he..." Gus didn't know how to explain this to Juliet.

Turned out, he didn't have to. "I totally get it, Carlton's miserable too. Sometimes I catch him reading his and Shawn's old messages and I just..."

She trailed off and they stayed silent for a while. They were dealing with two, completely stubborn people who were in love with each other.

"Juliet, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know yet, Gus."

~~

Shawn remembered when he once asked Gus, _"What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?"_

Gus had told him to shut up but Shawn had genuinely wanted to know the answer. 

Now he knew it.

It wasn't a chaotic event. It wasn't an explosion of violence and gore. It happened in slow motion as you watched your world be torn to pieces and you try to hold them all together in your hand. You put the pieces back together but it keeps breaking and eventually pieces are lost and never seen again.

That's what it felt like losing Lassie.

Because Lassie was his rock. The thing that kept him grounded. Without him, all Shawn wanted to do was run away and never be seen again. 

Shawn felt his shoulders sag even lower as he walked down the beach. He couldn't help but think about Christmas. Lassie had given him snow. Shawn had been so happy. Why did he have to mess up so badly?

Every step he took was a mile and there wasn't anything holding him up anymore. Shawn didn't realize how much he'd come to rely on Lassie. Until now.

Shawn stopped, pretended that there weren't any tears on his face because he didn't cry. 

He looked up at the sky. It was sunny and beautiful when his world was falling apart. There was a storm raging in Shawn's chest and not the kind he liked. This one made him feel sick and made his chest get tight and more tears run down his face because he was a fucking baby. How could the world be standing when he was falling apart?

And for some reason, be it a sixth sense or a coincidence, Shawn turned around and heard something from a voice he thought he'd never hear again.

"Hey, Shawn."

~~

Shawn had once asked Carlton, _"What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?_

Carlton hadn't known the answer, but he had replied. _"Quite a spectacle."_ and kissed Shawn so he'd stop asking inane questions.

He thought he knew the answer now. It was beautiful, that wasn't a lie, but it was the kind of beautiful that left someone in tears. Like having monsters under your bed, but they helped instead of harming, if that made sense.

Hell, he was done trying to make sense. Shawn had messed with his head, given him ideas of happily ever afters and other fairy tale endings, but no one ever talked about what happened after the end of the book. When the last page was over and your favorite character died and the other killed themselves in a quiet plea to end pain. 

Not that Carlton was going to kill himself. 

Not even close. 

He was going to college and he was going to be a detective and protect people, maybe not from heartbreak, but from real monsters. The ones that hurt and killed. 

These thoughts were what had Carlton not seeing Shawn until the last second. 

His chest was aching and he couldn't breathe properly. _Is this what anxiety felt like?_

He opened his mouth, though the tightness in his chest made it hard, he spoke. 

"Hey, Shawn."

~~

"Lassie."

Lassie was smiling, not a a normal 'Lassie' smile but one that looked sad and regretful and Shawn felt something constrict inside of him.

"So..."

"I'm an idiot." Shawn announced to no one in particular.

Lassie nodded, but said nothing. 

"I'm sorry?"

"That was convincing."

Shawn flushed with embarrassment and replied, "Well, I'm not used to being in the wrong."

That got him a raised eyebrow. Neither of them brought up the fact that they were gravitating closer to each other with every word. 

"Well, I'm not used to feeling guilty about being in the wrong."

Lassie looked to the side, (they were close enough to touch now) and then back to Shawn's face, not meeting his eyes. "Maybe I was wrong too." He said, looking pained.

"Did that hurt to say?" Shawn really didn't think that they should be this comfortable with each other without having cleared the air.

"Kinda." He sighed. "I mean that... I pressured you to make a decision that you didn't want-"

"Stop. I can... we..." _I want us to work_ , Shawn didn't say. 

He wasn't good at actual _adult conversation_. It was a good thing that Lassie could basically read his mind by now. "Are you sure? Shawn, you don't have to-"

"It's just a year right?" Shawn asked, "I can do that."

"Shawn, I'm not gonna be gone the whole time." 

"Right." Nodding, he contemplated what he was about to do for half a second before pulling Lassie down into a kiss. 

~~

Shawn was freaking out, Carlton could tell. 

Anyone else would have probably fell for the calm facade that Shawn was sporting, but if you know someone long enough, you can see straight through their bullshit. That's probably why he couldn't get away from Juliet because deep down he really didn't want to and she knew that.

He knew the kiss was just to get off the subject, but Carlton raised a hand to Shawn's face anyway, deepening it. 

They stood there, on the beach, kissing each other like their lives depended on it until Shawn pulled back and said, "So, how about a Hawaiian theme for your graduation party?"

"Absolutely not." 

Shawn just grinned.


End file.
